Shock horror
by Howbrighthesky
Summary: Rico and Kowalski decide to switch up their haloween this year with couples costumes- one of which has Skipper speechless and private traumatised. Rated T for some kissing and adult references. Haloween party fic, Humanized Kico relationship fic.
1. Chapter 1

"Walski come out"

Said Rico, standing on the other side of Kowalski's door. He was wearing a knitted sweater vest, a bow tie, braces and a pair of glasses not so dissimilar to The ones Kowalski owned. Rico felt stupid and looked ridiculous, but that was the point of Halloween wasn't it? To look disturbing, so naturally Rico's first thought was to wear the exact opposite of what he felt comfortable in, something so unlike him it was scary.

"I'm not coming out"

Came the muffled response from the other side of the door. How long was this going to take? They were going to be late for the party. Rico sighed, and pushed open the door.

What he saw took his breath Away. Rico was speechless, and his mind went blank. There on the other side of the door stood Kowalski. Only he didn't look like he normally did, hair slicked back meticulously, and body covered up by frumpy jumpers.

His hair was spiked up every which way with spray and gel, and he was wearing black eyeliner which was smudged like on the cover of a Marilyn Manson CD. He wore a low cut v neck shirt which left little to the imagination, covered in rips and chains. He also wore a pair of ripped skinny jeans so tight they looked painted on.

To say Rico liked this look on Kowalski was an understatement.

Kowalski stood there awkwardly, one hand grasping the opposite arm and one black painted bottom lip worrying between his teeth.

"Rico I can't go out like this" choked out the scientist, attempting to cover his chest up by pulling up his v neck and holding it in his left hand, the other messed with the crotch part of his jeans, which were incredibly tight, and a little uncomfortable.

Needless to say Kowalski was surprised when Rico's lips covered his own, and hungry kisses peppered his jaw and chin. Evidently one of them liked the look.

"Rico" said Kowalski almost absentmindedly as kisses where trailed along his jaw and downwards.

"Rico…"

The taller repeated, as the kisses trailed down his neck.

"Rico! Stop!"shouted the scientist finally, and Rico started to suck on his collarbone.

"You're going to leave a mark! And then what will I do, you won't let me put a jumper on over it!"

He stuttered hysterically.

"Rico I don't think this swapping thing was such a good idea… I feel so… strange"

Rico pulled back, and that was the first time Kowalski properly noticed Rico's attire.

"Are those… my braces?" Asked the analyst. Not entirely disliking how cute Rico looked in a soft sweater vest and glasses. Rico was wearing the equivalent of what Kowalski wore daily, but somehow still managed to look more like an artist than a scientist. He was just so expressive, from his eyes to his every day wear, everything about Rico was passionate. From his scar, to his husky Spanish accent.

Kowalski could not however fail to appreciate how soft and cute he looked with his hair tied back and his clothes immaculate.

Kowalski made a decision.

"Ok, I'll go out in this, but on one condition"

Rico tilted his head to the side.

"You have to have sooo much sex with me tonight"

Rico grinned, eyes widening as Kowalski walked out of the room, cute butt now in full view.

That could be arranged.


	2. Chapter 2

"How many people did Julian invite Skipper?!" Exclaimed private, as Skipper eyed the party with distaste. This was not a place for young private.

As if things could get any worse. First he was obligated to turn up to this stupid party as Eva from hacking and intelligence (Kowalski's friend, don't ask) had called him boring, second his second in command was wearing… not very much to this party.

Luckily this seemed to be one of Ringtails tamer parties.

They entered the house and were met with a crush of people, Julian automatically spotting them and heading over. skipper told private to go and get them some punch.

"So" begun Ringtail, latching himself onto Kowalski's side and grinding a little with the music.

"Who is this hot punky stranger you brought to my party Rico? And where is the smart guy? Why are you wearing his clothes also?"

Skipper just massaged his temples, helpless to what he knew was about to happen and feeling a headache coming on which had nothing to do with Julien's awful taste in music.

Julian yelped as he was physically thrown off of Kowalski, who looked if possible even more uncomfortable than a few seconds ago.

Rico growled at Julien "Ok ok, but I do not agree with this cheating, can I not have him? And you keep the smarty guy?"

Skipper couldn't hold it in anymore "That IS Kowalski Ringtail! You just humped Rico's boyfriend! not some guy he was supposedly cheating on him with! as if Rico would even do that!"

Julien looked confused.

"This is the smarty guy?"

Julien looked like someone had told him mangoes weren't real, utter disbelief coloured his whole face.

"THIS is the guy with the braces and the dorky jumpers and the silly brown shoes? Who is his stylist? I must meet them at once!"

Skipper was about to actually cry, just from sheer stress.

"So this is what he was hiding under all of that dork?" Julian mumbled to himself.

Julien walked around Kowalski's body, admiring him quite publicly. Rico stepped between them at this point and scowled at the nosy weirdo.

"Ringtail I suggest you vamoose or Rico is going to turn you into one of those smoothies you love so much"

The flirtatious party animal was beginning to get the message, as the still quite intimidating Demolitions expert had folded his arms and was glaring so darkly Julian was a little frightened.

"Ok it's whatever" Julian walked off, but not before handing his card to a startled Kowalski "if you two ever break up give me a call ok" he then curled his hand into the universal sign for phone.

Rico ran at him but was too slow as within seconds he had disappeared into the throng of dancing bodies.

Rico was seriously re evaluating this whole idea. This was so not worth it. Next time they went anywhere near a club- or Julian, Rico's lip curled at the thought, Kowalski had to wear a jumper, no questions asked.

Rico was suddenly aware of the fact Kowalski's dorky clothes hid his undoubtedly sexy body from the rest of the world, and was grateful that others unlike him didn't find Kowalski sexy no matter what. Rico couldn't handle another Julian situation.

Rico took off his sweater vest and without a word pulled it over Kowalski's head. Kowalski grinned, he liked this jumper,it was oversized, and comfy,he might keep it. He was also pleased he had won in the end, although slightly traumatised by Julian. Julian wasn't too bad, mostly annoying, and he could have easily got rid of him alone, but it was all just a bit of a blur.

He was grateful Rico was there to tell him to shove off so Kowalski could just stand there and pretend that it wasn't happening. It was also kind of attractive how effective Rico was at protecting him

Kowalski hugged Rico, and the two smiled sincerely at each other. Rico pecked Kowalski on the cheek. It was just as well that's all he did, as Private appeared a moment later, and the pair could tell Skipper was already very mad. He was watching Julian when he thought nobody was looking, and Kowalski and Rico knew Ringtail wasn't going to get off Scot free for his behaviour, Rico smirked.

Skipper silently walked up to ringtail and slapped him upside the head,The team trailing out of the door and hopping into their truck. Private didn't even bat an eyelid. At this point all he knew was Julian had definitely done something to warrant a slap.


	3. Chapter 3

Rico collapsed onto the couch, feet kicking up onto the coffee table and remote in one hand, a withering look from Skipper and his feet were dropped to the floor instantly.

Kowalski dropped onto the couch next to him, curling into his side, but then started fussing with his pants again.

"K'walski wanna go upstairs and change?" Said skipper, head tilting forward and eyebrows raising. The scientist would have took the moment to be embarrassed if he hadn't been so relieved. "Of course Skipper" he saluted and headed upstairs.

Rico pouted at the lack of Kowalski but shifted, making himself comfortable on the couch even though he mourned the loss of contact.

Private plopped himself down on the other end of the couch with a cup of tea, his spot, as long as Rico and Kowalski weren't napping or anything.

"Are we gonna talk about this Rico?" Said Skipper.

Rico's eyebrows raised into his hairline. Skipper started.

" you can't let Kowalski walk round like that, ESPECIALLY in front. Of ringtail!"

Rico didn't need much to know his mistake, he had already learned his lesson.

"Yes 'kipper"

He replied.

"I mean Kowalski is a big boy he can fend for himself but he isn't exactly very knowledgeable in the social department, so it's up to you to let him know what's appropriate, if not as a team member surely as his BOYFRIEND, I'm actually glad we left early, don't want HQ agents taking pictures and sending them to fucking Classified! Fucking bigot, he would just love to poke fun at his punk outfit all damn day, can't believe some idiot told him you were dating" Skipper frowned, settling in his massive leather armchair.

"and he's always had a bee in his bonnet after Kowalski refused to build him that jet" added Private.

Rico sighed, sure Skipper was right, it had been too much, but Rico had seen dozens of scantily dressed women at the party too, loads in playboy bunny corsets and sexy devil costumes.

This was a bit different however, if they had stayed Eva and the higher ups who may have attended the party will have seen, this wasn't just a normal Ringtail party, yes, it was time to take a rain check.

Rico felt guilty though, Kowalksi did know what was appropriate, it was Rico who had persuaded him to go out like that. Never mind, everyone was fine, Ringtail was Ringtail. It made him feel a lot better knowing that Ringtail had acted in a similar way with Skipper and then Rico when they had first attended one of his party's, and it was pretty harmless.

But Rico felt wrong letting Kowalski take the blame, and even though it was difficult to admit explained to skipper that he had been the one who asked him to wear it, trying not to blush when the leader opened his mouth to reply, but thought better of it.

After a minute Skipper then decided to speak after all" well Rico don't pull a stunt like this again, unless you fancy an investigation after I've murdered Ringtail for our damn sanity" he said, turning his attention back to the TV.

X

X

X

X

Kowalski sighed, peeling the skin tight pants off of his long legs and changing into normal black pants. He donned a white button up shirt with a tartan bow tie, some black braces and brown brogues, and finally a brown tartan dinner jacket with leather elbow pads. He wiped off the makeup with the wipes Eva had left him last time she stayed over and went to the bathroom to fully wash his face just incase there was any makeup left over.

He wasn't sure what he wanted to do tonight. Eva might like to come over for some wine later and he didn't want to be in his pj's right away, Eva had stayed over and seen him in his pj's loads of times, but he thought he would make an effort as she would no doubt be wearing those ridiculously high heels again and one of her cocktail dresses, and would get jealous of him otherwise.

He might convince Rico to go out and meet her for drinks. Kowalski was not the most social person but he hadn't seen Eva in a while, and she was a close friend, one of his first at the academy.

He missed her surprisingly savage jokes and the easy conversation, Rico loved kowalski, and Kowalski loved Rico, but it was so refreshing to talk science with her, she was his best friend.

Rico endured the science babble because Eva travelled a lot and always had information about what countries like Russia were up to with their weaponry, and always told him about the pranks short fuse had played on classified recently.

Eva had quit months ago and had been travelling solo gathering intelligence, but she had been keeping in touch with corporal and short fuse. She was a charming woman. Rico felt quite smug that he had ended up with Kowalski, not her, she really was Kowalski's only equal when it came to science, that and Kowalski was as gay as skipper was strait… so very gay. He didn't broadcast it, and neither did Rico, it just felt natural.

Kowalski headed downstairs, opening the living room door where the team was congregated.

Rico let out a low whistle as he walked in.

Skipper was in a heated discussion with private.

-" young private, you cannot possibly dislike pan's Labrynth, it's a darn masterpiece!"

"But skipper you know I don't like scary movies!"

Private retorted.

" you liked phantom of the opera!"

Argued Skipper.

"Skipper! Just because it has the word Phantom in the title does not mean it is as scary as pan's labyrinth!" Said Private, rolling his eyes.

"He likes phantom of the opera because it's a musical Skipper" interjected Kowalski, sitting down on the couch between Rico and Private.

"and it doesn't involve a man getting his leg-"

Rico elbowed Kowlalski hard in the side.

Kowalski took a deep intake of breath "and it isn't as gory" the scientist amended in a very high pitched voice. Sending a scathing glance without any heat Rico's way.

Rico just smirked impishly and wrapped an arm around Kowlaski, pulling him gently into him and rubbing his arm soothingly.

Unexpectedly the tune of Bill Nye the Science Guy flooded the room. Skipper looked over, irked at the interruption, and Kowalski smiled apologetically at the group, pulling his phone out of his blazer and answering it. He smiled when he noticed Eva's name light up on his screen before pressing the icon and holding it to his ear.

"Yes...yes! Rico would love to come!"

Rico rolled his eyes, pouting, he crossed his arms and slumped miserably, he had been hoping Kowalski would deliver on his promise of a steamy makeout session- followed by mind boggling sex that Rico still wasn't convinced was humanly possible between every time they did it. Rico had no idea how but awkward overthinking gangly Kowalski was the best he had ever had, probably because their relationship was already so strong, and complex, it really did change things if you cared about a person, nobody had gotten that close to either of them before, together they were strong.

"Yes of course Eva, I'll ask them"

Skipper raised his eyebrows and shot a bored look his way, it just so happened that private yawned at that exact moment, raising his arms up above his head and stretching like a cat.

" Eva wants to know if you and Private want to come with us for drinks" Kowalski put the phone on speaker and held it up.

Skipper exhaled deeply eyeing private.

"I have don't know what mayhem Short Fuse gets up to over at your secret HQ, but we are not taking young private to a Cocktail bar, or whatever overpriced hipster place you young kids go to, Private is going to bed, and I am way too old to stay up any longer, goodnight Eva, I really hope you kids have a good time but we're staying here"

Kowalski winced, feeling pretty bad for stressing Skipper out today and not realising this was a bad idea.

To Eva's credit she didn't even argue.

" ok Skipper dear, and Private, goodnight my love" she said.

"Goodnight Eva!" Said Private, as he was hearded out of the room.

Kowalski finished the arrangements as Skipper and Private went up to bed. So it was drinks at The Thin White Duke. Despite it all he was excited.


End file.
